PLANT FUNERAL, MINOR LOSS

Fkness score: 6/100 — FINE · Category: life · Filed by anonymous

The situation

My houseplants all died while I was away for a weekend

You're fine. The plants are not.

The read

You killed an entire ecosystem in 48 hours. Impressive, honestly.

Damage report

• Damage: 5
• Own fault: 80
• Humiliation: 10
• Wallet damage: 10
• Fixability: 80
• Survival odds: 99%
• Recovery time: One trip to IKEA
• Worst case: You're the plant killer now.

Rescue plan

1. Check the roots — some might be revivable.
2. Buy a snake plant. They survive anything.
3. Get self-watering pots.

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