ROMANCE, SPONSORED BY UNLEADED

Fkness score: 77/100 — FKED · Category: love · Filed by anonymous

The situation

Forgot our anniversary and tried to pass off a petrol station meal deal as 'a spontaneous picnic'

Love is blind, but it can still read a receipt.

The read

You looked a meal deal in the eye and called it a picnic. The candle was a car air freshener. The wine was an energy drink. Your partner's face did a thing you'll be seeing in your nightmares and possibly in court. You absolute weapon.

Damage report

  • Damage: 80
  • Own fault: 96
  • Humiliation: 70
  • Wallet damage: 45
  • Fixability: 62
  • Survival odds: 52%
  • Recovery time: one extremely nice dinner
  • Worst case: Every anniversary forever is now measured against the petrol station.

The alibis

  • I was testing you. You failed to appreciate the test.
  • It's called minimalism. All the best restaurants are doing it.
  • The restaurant burned down. Emotionally.

Rescue plan

  1. Admit everything immediately. The lie is the crime; the forgetting is just the misdemeanour.
  2. Book an actual dinner somewhere with tablecloths within 48 hours. Overcorrect hard.
  3. Set three calendar reminders for next year: one month out, one week out, one day out. Never again.

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