THE EX FILES: A DINNER IN TWO ACTS

Fkness score: 71/100 — FKED · Category: love · Filed by anonymous

The situation

Called my date by my ex's name. Twice. In one dinner.

Your mouth is still in a previous relationship.

The read

Once is a slip. Twice is a pattern. Your date now knows more about your ex than about you, and the dessert menu never stood a chance. The waiter refilling the water was the longest eye contact of your whole sh*tshow of an evening.

Damage report

  • Damage: 72
  • Own fault: 94
  • Humiliation: 85
  • Wallet damage: 30
  • Fixability: 58
  • Survival odds: 44%
  • Recovery time: one awkward week
  • Worst case: You do it a third time, at the wedding.

The alibis

  • It's a very common name. Statistically inevitable.
  • I was reading the wine list and it said her name. Basically.
  • I have a condition. It's called being an idiot.

Rescue plan

  1. Apologise once, sincerely, no excuses — then drop it completely.
  2. Send a message the next day that's funny about it. If you can make them laugh about it, you live.
  3. Before the next date, say the new person's name out loud ten times in the car. Repetition is your friend.

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